The Art of Kissing, According to Cho Kyuhyun
by allmidnighter
Summary: Super Junior. AU. Rocker!Kyu/Girl!Min. Kyuhyun and Sungmin are roommates. She's frustrated because her kissing with her boyfriend, Yesung, has always been sort of... well, terrible. Kyuhyun decides to help.
1. Chapter 1

Kyuhyun got home to find Sungmin, his roommate and his best friend for the last 10 years, trying to drill a hole into the TV remote control with her thumb. Or at least that was what it looked like.

"Hey," he said, eyebrows scrunched up together, wondering what it was all about. She didn't as much as glance at him. Her thumb continued hitting the buttons rapidly, almost mechanical.

Kyuhyun tossed the keys on the table and looked back and forth between her and the tv, wondering to himself if an alien had replaced his best friend with some kind of a cyborg, and whether or not his real best friend was now tied to a surgical table up in the alien's mothership somewhere. The TV flicked steadily away between a news program, a variety show, a drama, another news program... "Are you even watching this?" She didn't reply, her eyes didn't even once leave the screen. He wondered if they would suddenly flick red, like Arnold Schwarzenegger's in Terminator. That would be a problem since he wasn't really good at running. "I'm not buying a new remote if that one breaks down."

Finally she stopped, and the TV halted abruptly on a rather disturbing scene of intestines bursting out of some fat guy's stomach and eyes popping out out of some melting brain. Kyuhyun yelped and snatched the remote off her hands. He quickly changed the channel into some music show which was playing a (totally harmless) ballad, and breathed relief.

On the outside Kyuhyun was a lead vocalist of a rock band, but contrasting with the dark image and a fashion sense that includes metal chains and skulls, he hated horror movies. Especially one with disgusting, pointless gore. And she was the kind who would even grab a pillow as soon as the creepy background music started playing, before anything scary had actually happened.

This time, she didn't even flinch. It was as if the previous stomach churning scene had been a mundane weather report.

Odd.

Slightly alarming.

"Kyu, I was watching." She grabbed the remote back from him, looking annoyed.

_More like staring into space and beyond._ Kyuhyun thought to himself. _With additional offense including, but not limiting to, abusing innocent household equipments._ "What's wrong with you?"

"Me? Nothing. Why?"

Kyuhyun peered suspiciously at his friend. He had been her roommate for 3 years, known her for much longer than that. He could tell when something was bothering her. The last time she had acted this way was when some idiot had got her heart broken. He had got home to find her in the kitchen in her pink pajamas and pink bunny slippers, eating ice cream and staring blankly at the wall. Like now, more or less. If Kyuhyun hadn't come home earlier, he was convinced she would've chewed that spoon gone. In all, he had never seen their tissue supply for a month gone that fast. Nor their ice cream supply, for that matter.

She was the kind of person who would bottle up her feelings, until it came overflow to the brim. Was Yesung, her boyfriend now, had also hurt her in any way? But he looked like a good guy... Although, you could never know. _I'm gonna beat the crap out of that guy if he had_, Kyuhyun thought to himself. Yesung would regret it, _a lot_, if he ever messed with his friend. But then, he respected her that much that if she needed him, she would come to him. If she didn't, he wouldn't pry.

"If you say so." He shrugged and got up to his room. "I'm gonna take a shower."

She was still in front of the TV when he returned. "What are you watching?" He flopped down beside her, towel-drying his wet hair.

It was some drama he didn't know the title of, but he ended up watching it along with her (this time she _really_ was watching–not that he checked). There was a scene when the two main protagonists were having their first kiss, when she asked suddenly, "Why do dramas make such a big deal about first kisses?"

"I don't know. Because it's the first?" Kyuhyun shrugged, "People make a big deal about many firsts. Like, the first day of school, the first date, first guy to ever hit by an apple and went on to write a theory about it instead of just eat it like a normal person..."

"What your first kiss was like?"

_My what?_ He raised his eyebrows.

"It was somewhere behind the school, right?"

He forgot that he ever told her. The question amused him. "The park bench."

"With all those people?" She was referring to the park and the basketball court next to it full of students during the day, just playing or hanging out after school.

"No. It was like, around 7 or 8 at night, after the band practice. There was nobody. You guys were already left."

"And then?"

He let out a laugh, "Why do you want to know so much?" But she persisted, so he continued, "If you remember one of the bench had a street lamp right above that shone on it. It was really quiet, just the two of us. So I thought,..." He added, sheepishly, "I just sort of went for it."

"_Aigoo_," Sungmin exclaimed, "You sneaky."

"That wasn't..."

"Sneakyu!"

"What**–**You are NOT giving me another nickname!" But she was snickering and he just rolled his eyes in disbelief. Rocker Kyu, Evil Kyu, Game Kyu, Dancing Kyu (this actually was used to name his bouncing about on stage**–**to which he strongly objected, _those were NOT dancing!_**―**but apparently, it had been used as an irony because rhythm had never been his forte), Hair-Porn Kyu (and this, apparently, for everytime he tried to do some attempts at head-banging, and other times when he unconsciously touched his head while nailing a particular high note), Drakyula (for looking like a vampire everytime he sported the dark outfit and dark eye makeup for the stage, that she said contrasted so much with his pale skin), Fail Kyu (for, well, everytime he attempted anything and failed miserably), and now there was this. Sneaky Kyu. Sneakyu. It didn't even sound plausible, he cringed. It was even worse than Creeper Kyu, the nickname he got because of that one time he had barged into her room to borrow a flashdisk, not knowing she was changing her clothes.

"Why are you asking?" It had suddenly occurred to him the many reasons why she had asked. Could it be that... "Don't tell me you and Yesung haven't kissed yet? You guys have been going out for almost**–**"

"Of course we have." She cut him, her cheeks slightly tinted pink.

"Hey, you were the one asking such weird question first."

Sungmin ignored his comment and left it at that. And he let it. They continued to watch in silence. He was thinking of how pretty the actress who played the female protagonist was, when she suddenly asked again.

"Did it feel good?"

"What?" He blinked.

"Was it good?" She repeated her question.

"What was good?" He stammered. There was _no way_ Sungmin knew he had been imagining the actress just now...

"Your first kiss."

_Oh. That._ "Umm..."

"I take that as a no."

"It _was_." He stated.

"Really?" She eyed him, "I don't believe you."

"Seriously. In fact, it was so good that few seconds after the initial first kiss, I kissed her again... And then again, few days later, at that same place."

"Hmm..." was all that she said before she turned back facing the TV, resting her chin on her knees. A smirk slowly spread on Kyuhyun's lips. See, he was right, there must be something bothering her but she wouldn't spit it out just now. All he needed was a little poke. Just a little...

"It's not that good with you and Yesung?"

_*poke*_

Kyuhyun leaned back and crossed his arm over his chest, trying to suppress a grin as he watched her eyes grew wide.

_Oh, dead on._

"How did you... It wasn't exactly, I mean..." She let out a laugh. Frankly, he was slightly relieved that the problem wasn't anything catastrophic, like Yesung getting another woman pregnant or something. "All that, just because of a kiss? Was it _that_ bad?"

Her face was flushed red. "Well, maybe I don't know anything about kissing... But..." She tried to find a better word, but she couldn't find one and gave up at the first thing that came to her mind, "It feels like being hit by a truck." Kyuhyun burst out laughing.

"Kyu, don't laugh. I'm serious."

"Okay, sorry. Umm, what do you mean by... getting hit by a tru**–**" He started laughing again.

"Do you want to die?"

"Sorry, go on."

She eyed him for a second. "Well it's just... too much." He frowned. She sighed, "It's like he wants to maul my face."

"See!" He suddenly exclaimed that it startled her, "That's why you shouldn't call him '_Yesung bear_'. Bears maul peopl**–**AOW!"

Kyuhyun rubbed the spot on his arm where Sungmin had smacked him. She might be a girl, but she knew how to deliver a good hit. Kyuhyun seemed to forget the fact that she learned taekwondo. "When did I ever call him THAT? Aish, nevermind. Just forget I ever said anything." She then proceeded to sulk, like a 5 year old.

"I'm kidding!"

"Yeah, just laugh." She was still pouting, "I bet you're lying. I bet all the girls you've kissed felt like they were kissing a rock, or something."

It was actually cute when she was mad, pouting and all that. Kyuhyun couldn't help but smiling a little. "You just can't take it that I'm a much better kisser than your _Yesung oppa_." He said the last bit in excessive, hair-raising, cuteness. Her reaction was exactly what he expected.

"No you're not."

"You know that I am."

"Yeah right." She rolled her eyes.

"Just ask all those girls I've kissed."

"They would just say you're a horrible kisser."

"You wanna bet?"

She gave him a death glare. _I take that as a yes_, he smirked then leaned forward right in front of her face. She gasped and jumped a good one meter back, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Kyuhyun laughed. "Chicken."

She glared at him. "You..."

"You're just afraid that I'm right, and that you'll like it."

"This delusional bastard..." She scoffed.

"Only one way to prove it."

"Coming any closer and I'll..."

Suddenly he had her down on the sofa and was leaning over her, "You'll what?"

"What the hell are you doing?" A hint of panic in her voice. He had pinned her arms down on each sides of her head.

"Kyu, I'm warning you..." She struggled and was considering on launching a taekwondo move on her friend and made him regret it, but her threat dispersed quickly, along with her breath. It had seemed as if the air around her had depleted of oxygen, but was filled instead with the scent of his soap, or shampoo, fresh from his shower earlier. It had smelled so good. And the way his eyes were boring into hers...

He ignored her threat. Instead, he was leaning down. She shut her eyes, bracing for the impact, when suddenly the weight was off her and Kyuhyun was laughing hard on the other side of the sofa.

"You should have seen..." he said in between his laughter, "the look on your face..."

"Jerk!" She hit his leg and walked off to her room. Kyuhyun spent the next five minutes limping around, cursing.

Few nights after, she came around. He was practicing with his guitar when she came home from her date with Yesung.

–––

"Kyu, I give up."

He stopped playing. Sungmin had flopped down on the sofa beside him. "I need your advice. You've got to help me. BUT," She put up her hands in a warning, "No funny business this time."

He just shrugged. "Fine." The bruise on his leg still hadn't gone away. It also reminded him of the last three days, where she had deliberately taken super long, _record-breaking_ long showers just when he needed to use the bathroom the most. Kyuhyun also wondered if Sungmin really took taekwondo, or whether it was some secret ninja training, because she was able to move deadly fast and take over the bathroom before he did, no matter how hard he tried to claim it first.

It wasn't even fair; her room was closer to the bathroom. He spent the first day begging her to come out, as he had early class that morning. He ended up late. The second, he decided he would just camp in front of the goddamn door, but he had dozed off for a mere few seconds and... _She and her ninja skill!_ He ended up going to his class without taking a bath. This morning, he gave up and just borrowed the neighbor's bathroom. It was hell trying to explain it to his neighbors, an elderly Chinese couple. _'Umm, I'm sorry, Mr. Wang. Can I borrow the bathroom?' 'What is wrong with your bathroom?' 'Err, the water's dead.' 'But it is fine in ours.' 'Yeah, actually, my roommate is an evil witch.' 'What? Did you hear that, Ling? The kids these days, using that kind of language...''_

Morale of the story: Never make your roommate mad. Even those who seemed cute and innocent. Remember, evil killer bunnies also look cute and innocent, until they attack you.

"And promise not to laugh."

"Fine, I won't. I swear on my porn collection."

She blinked. She didn't even know he had a porn collect**–**Wait, she didn't wanna know. "I'm dead serious, Kyu."

"So am I. I just swore on my porn collection, how much more serious can a guy get?"

Sungmin rolled her eyes. "Okay, whatever."

"Now what is it?"

She took a deep breath, "If it was a truck then... now it's... like being hit by a washing machine..."

Kyuhyun snorted, but then he remembered Mr. Wang, and his porn collection he had solemnly swore on, so he pretended to clear his throat. "Why a washing machine?"

"He had tried to use tongue."

Kyuhyun raised his eyebrows. "Okay..." The image had not been pleasant. "Have you ever talked to him about this?"

"Like what? Hey, your kiss is like a washing machine."

"I'm afraid he'd take it as a compliment..."

She shot him a look.

"No, seriously..." he rapped his fingers on the side of his guitar, thinking. "Maybe... Next time you take the initiative for a change..."

"_What?_" She stuttered.

"YOU kiss him." Kyuhyun pointed a finger, making her jump. "Don't wait until he kisses you. Hell, don't let him kiss you first. You don't have that ninja skill for nothing. Take charge!"

"Ninja... _What?_"

Kyuhyun could imagine ice breaking off that 'what' at the end. "Err, nothing. I mean... You know, like in a dance, take the lead. Show him. Make him follow your rhythm, so to speak."

"Rhythm? I don't think it's got anything to do with the pace. I mean, I've tried, I told him to slow down..."

"And?"

"In fact... even when he takes it slowly, I still don't enjoy it." She let out an desperate sigh. "It's like... I don't feel anything. It just feels... unpleasantly wet, weird, and I just want it to be over with." She played with the edge of her pink pajama. "That's why I asked you, I was beginning to wonder if that's all to it."

He frowned at her, "No, it's not." Well, that bit was interesting. He had originally thought it was just a matter of Yesung's bad technique. But maybe there was also something else to that. "Really, nothing? No... butterflies? Warmth? Just a little sense of happiness _YAY Yesung oppa kissed me!_"

"No." She folded her arms over her chest, "And stop with that toe-curling tone already."

Kyuhyun thought for a moment, rapping his fingers. Then he put down his guitar. "You know, sometimes it's not about the kiss itself..." He paused, trying to decide if he should go on, or if he had better let her figure it out herself. "Do you love him?"

"What?" She blinked, "Of course I do, he's my boyfriend."

"No I mean like... _really_ love him."

"What do you mean by _really_ love him?"

He shifted so his right arm leaned against the back of the chair and he was completely facing her. "Kissing is not... just a physical thing. It's not exactly science, or a choreography, that you can pin down move by move. The technique itself only goes so far. Well, yeah, maybe Yesung needs to improve in that department. But it just struck me as weird that it had left you feeling... nothing. Because it shouldn't. Like I said, it's not the matter of just lips colliding, there has to be something else in there. Call it chemistry, sparks, connection, whatever. You need to do it with the right person. Otherwise it wouldn't feel special. Wouldn't feel... _right_."

"Right? You mean like fireworks and stuff?"

He chuckled, "Not... exactly. That's just in the movies. If you had really seen fireworks, you probably had knocked your teeth with his accidentally and was seeing stars from the pain**–**"

"Kyu!"

"Sorry. I mean you'll feel... Don't you get what I mean? I don't know how to explain it."

She shook her head. "And you call yourself a songwriter..."

"Hey, I'm in a rock band. I don't write sappy... _lovey-dovey_ stuff." He cringed at the thought. "But my point is, you just... you're supposed to feel at least SOMETHING."

"I feel uncomfortable, alright."

"Then why do you keep doing this? Do you want to kiss him because you love him, or is this just some kind of... I don't know. Curiosity? Like, nailing down a puzzle or a difficult Math test."

Sungmin opened her mouth to answer, ready to defend her cause, but then she closed them again. Kyuhyun waited. He knew her. She was exactly like that it school, and in everything. If she had found something that she couldn't solve, she would relentlessly keep trying until she did. There was even one time when she got a B in Japanese at school. She signed up for a course, riding her bike to the classes after school and getting up before dawn to study, everyday. All that, because she wanted to master it so badly.

"Or competition? Because you wouldn't take it that I... and other people, have good experience with kissing, and that just bugs you." Because Kyuhyun, being naturally gifted with languages (_and just naturally smart all over_, he added), had gotten a perfect A in that Japanese class.

"Don't flatter yourself so much," she grimly said. "Maybe I just don't know what the feeling is supposed to feel like."

"No, it can't be. You'll _know_. Trust me. If you don't, then it's not there."

"But how do you know..."

"Like falling in love, you just know, right? There's no question... Right here," He rested his fingers lightly over her chest where the heart was. "That feeling as if your heart leaped and nudged at you, _that person, that's the one you've been waiting for_... You know that feeling, right?"

She thought about it for a moment, staring at the spot on her heart that Kyuhyun had pointed. She had just realized something about her best friend. That despite his many evilness, his tendency to be annoying, and his remark about how he would never ever write a love song, he was actually a hopeless romantic.

"Kyu..."

"Hmm?"

"Did you just poke my breast?"

Kyuhyun's eyes sprang wide, "WHAT? I didn't**–**"

She was snickering, "You should've seen your face, it's like all the blood suddenly drained."

"You**–**"

But she just stuck out her tongue at him, and flopped down to the kitchen.

–––

"I'm seriously hopeless at leading, let alone controlling the pace."

Sungmin reported back to him the next week when they were at the studio. She had promised to help him because he and his band was entering a competition. He wanted to know what she thought about the song, as she had good ears and often her insights had been helpful. She used to be in a band with him in high school, playing the keyboard, sometimes the guitar. But that was before his genre turned a little too dark and depressive with a little too much head-banging for her taste.

Kyuhyun looked up from his guitar. "Lead? Pace? What are you talking about?"

There were just the two of them in the studio. At first he thought it was the pace of the song, the tempo, because she was pointing out a line in the song that she thought sounded a bit off, and he was scribbling some parts and tried it on his guitar. It took him a few seconds to get what she meant. "Oh, you mean..."

"How do you actually... kiss someone?"

He stopped and raised his eyebrow. Was she _seriously_ asking him that?

"What, you want me to show you?"

Sungmin flushed a bit pink. "No I mean... like you said, be the one in the lead. I tried to make the move, but I just froze, and I don't know... I just need some advice... How do you..." She trailed off, her cheeks was now bright red. It might just as well that she was asking him about how to perform a certain sex position that involved standing on your head.

Kyuhyun propped his arm on his guitar and his lips slowly turned into a smirk.

"Don't laugh." She warned him.

"No, I'm not mocking you. It's just... It just occurred to me how innocent you actually are."

She glared, "What's that supposed to mean?"

He let out a short laugh, "No, I mean, for other things you're smart, independent, very capable girl. Even capable enough to brutally hit an innocent bystander**–**like me**–**and almost snap his leg in two. But when it comes to this thing..."

"Did you just say that I _brutally hit you_?" Kyuhyun was sure she was going to really snap his legs this time. "If you just want to keep on poking fun at my lack of experience..." She moved to leave, wondering why she had confided in him in the first hold her arm to stop her.

"Relax, I was getting there." He slowly put down his guitar and pulled his chair closer facing her.


	2. Chapter 2

"What are you doing?" She eyed him suspiciously.

"This is me helping you."

"Should you sit so close?"

"Do you want me to help you or not?"

"But, Kyuhyun..."

"No wonder Yesung just goes ahead and mauls you, you wouldn't stop talking."

She shut up at that, looking at him.

"Minnie." Kyuhyun said softly, holding her shoulders. "Relax." She finally complied and loosened up against his hands.

"So, that's the first rule. You really need to learn to relax... You're always too serious, Minnie. And why your hands are so cold?" He folded her hands in his, stroking it gently until his own warmth spread out to hers.

"It's one thing I often notice, actually. You'd tense up even when Yesung's just trying to put his arm around you." Kyuhyun's eyes were unwavering, and she stirred under it. It made her feel uneasy, because she knew he was right. She had never felt comfortable with Yesung, _her own boyfriend_. Kyuhyun's question from earlier nagged at the back of her mind.

"You shouldn't expect everything to be perfect, Minnie. Just... let it flow. Try not to rush it. The right moment can't be rushed." His voice were calm and steady. "Are you following me?" Sungmin nodded attentively.

"Then tell him to close his eyes. So you can take your time."

She nodded again.

"Now close your eyes."

Sungmin let her eyelids dropped, Kyuhyun's warm hands had left her feeling surprisingly calm. "Remember, don't rush it." His voice had dropped into a whisper.

Kyuhyun looked at the girl before him, and pondered for a moment. Then he slowly tilt his head. Very slowly, as if she was a porcelain doll that might break from the slightest touch, he closed the gap between them.

His lips brushed with hers. She tensed at first, startled. He moved back a little, unsure. Their breath mixing in the air. Lips hovered, waited, curious. A fraction of a second. Two. He closed the gap again. She replied, her lips moved against his, soft and warm, and he wondered how come he never noticed them before, all 10 years they knew each other. He cupped the side of her face, raked his fingers into the soft locks of her hair.

His mind was a total blur now. The universe didn't exist, what was left only the pitch black behind his eyelids, and a single sensation, her warm lips against his, and something familiar was stirring in the pitch of his stomach. His hand slid down to the nape of her neck. She shivered, even Yesung had never touched her like that.

When they finally pulled away, she spoke first, her breath catching, "That was..."

Kyuhyun swallowed.

_Amazing._

He wasn't expecting this. His aim, originally, was to go for a peck. Nothing of feeling, just a simple light kiss, to show that kisses could be gentle and sweet and not at all resembling being hit by a big moving vehicle. Well, ended up _sliiiiiiightly_ further than that, although he argued the objective was still successfully met.

She was still looking at him with unreadable eyes and he wondered if she was about to tell him how horrible it was, how it resembled being given CPR by a cod fish. Or if she would just slap him and accused him of harassment. Or both. Harassment by a cod fish.

But all she managed to say was, "Wow." A breathless, genuine, _wow_. He breathed relief and let himself to smile. "See, I've told you." And that smile slowly turned into a smirk.

"Whatever." She was rolling her eyes, "Apparently your kissing skill is just slightly better than your songwriting skill... Take this second verse for example. 'Government you suck more than losing Starcraft'. Seriously, Kyu, what kind of lyrics is this? Were you drunk?"

He didn't even remember he had ever written that part. He snatched the music sheets off her, "When did I ever write that?" And just that, whatever feeling that ignited in the pitch of his stomach had dissolved, and whatever pride he had acquired earlier of proving himself right, butchered right then and there.

They never brought up the kiss again and to Kyuhyun's relief, their friendship stayed intact. He was worried, for a moment, after they left the studio that afternoon that somehow he was crossing something he shouldn't have. What was he thinking, kissing his own best friend, his roommate, whom he lived under the same roof with and had to meet every day with. Not to mention that said best friend and roommate HAD A BOYFRIEND. He kept reminding himself that.

She had acted as usual, like it had never happened. Too casual even, that it had bugged him for reasons he didn't know. Or didn't want to know.

She never said anything more about Yesung though, and he wondered if his 'teachings' had finally worked. If now she had all the good kisses she longed for with her boyfriend, thanks to him. It surprised him, the sudden pang of jealousy, because he had never felt jealous of Yesung before.

And then he started to notice things. Little things. Like the shiver in his stomach when his fingers brushed hers. _D Minor, Kyu, not B Minor_, she was saying, correcting his fingers position on the guitar. It made him wanting to make deliberate mistake just for another of that short moment. Or like when she stood or sat too close. When she peered over his shoulder to watch him playing Starcraft, their cheeks side by side, almost touching. When they were watching DVD and she had fallen asleep, her head resting on his shoulder. And every time they almost bumped into each other, either by sheer lack of direction when one had just woken up, or the mere geography of the small space they lived in.

It also had just occurred to him how much she actually cared for him. One morning when he wasn't feeling well, she had come into his room to check on him and put her hand over his forehead to see if he was having a fever. She had made him chicken soup, feeding him spoonfuls and giving him a lecture because he had been up late too much playing Starcraft and not taking care of his health. As he was lying there in delirium from the flu medicine, he found himself wondering if the new feelings he was experiencing, that had felt both wonderful and wrong at the same time, was part of the drug effects, or if he had, indeed, fallen for her.

He couldn't have, could he?

His feelings couldn't have existed. Because of the so many logical, good reasons. You don't fall for your best friend, you'll ruin your friendship forever. That's ancient rule. You don't fall for your roommate because at the end one of you would have to move out, most probably him, and he didn't want to. You also don't fall for someone's girlfriend. You just don't.

He had been reminded of that fact when one night Yesung had carried her home. She had fallen asleep in the car, he said. Kyuhyun opened the door for him and he put her to her bed. She had been wearing his jacket. Yesung said they went for a short walk and she was cold. Before he went he handed Kyuhyun a small pink stuffed bunny. Yesung had said, he had bought it for her, but he hadn't got a chance to give it because she already fell asleep. He asked Kyuhyun to give it to her when she woke up.

After he was gone, Kyuhyun pulled the blanket over her and just sat there on the edge of the bed, absentmindedly playing the bunny in his hands. It would've been easier if the guy she was with was a complete jerk. Someone who hurt her. But this... he couldn't win against the bunny. It would be wrong to even try.

_I love you so much it doesn't even make sense._ He watched as her breathing moved steadily up and down. _But I'm not gonna vouch myself against your happiness... I'll deal with this._ He put the bunny on the pillow next to her. _Somehow, I'll find a way._

The band competition grew closer and Kyuhyun buried himself in his music. To his band members' surprise, he had managed to write more songs in a week than he had in the last few months, and it had overwhelmed them because, well frankly they only needed three songs for the competition. But it had come out, automatically. Pouring out of him in strings of lyrics, when he had tried his hardest to seal it in his chest and out of his mind. He couldn't exactly write about his feelings for her because, well for the obvious reason. Besides, they weren't a pop band. So what bursting out of him, was the pure, raw emotions. His songs had turned abstract, not the obvious topics about criticism against society or how the world is deteriorating and whatnot, like their previous songs had been about. Only the feeling of despair, the hope, the longing. He was hoping one would just relate that to rage and hope against current modern world. Or something.

Apparently his band members had noticed the change, even though he was only showing them the best few that he thought had a chance on winning the competition, leaving the rest, more raw, more honest ones in his notebook. Donghae had approached him one day. "These new lyrics you wrote... They're unbelievably personal."

"Our music is always personal." He replied indifferently.

"Are you in love with someone?"

Kyuhyun had choked on his drink and threw the older man an alarmed look. Donghae just nudged his head at a certain figure on the other side of the room, who was laughing and eating kimbab with the rest of the band. "It's her, isn't it?"

Kyuhyun hesitated.

"Hey, I'm not blind. I can put two and two together. The lyrics might be abstract, but I know what it's like to be in love. You're not writing about some kind of political message. It's not written for a 'you' in the sense of the global world. It's a 'you' in the sense of a particular someone."

"Is it that obvious, hyung?"

The expression on Kyuhyun's face made the older man laugh. "Some lines gave you away. I guess it's hard to contain something that is so big, that has consumed everything that you are, isn't it? The way you've been avoiding her has been kinda obvious though." Donghae smiled sympathetically. "Are you gonna do something about it?"

Kyuhyun hesitated then slowly shook his head. A kind of understanding flickered on Donghae's eyes. "Is she still with... that guy, Yesung?" Kyuhyun slowly nodded. "Ah. So that's what it's like." Donghae glanced at the other side of the room and back to his dongsaeng again.

"You can keep a secret, please, hyung?" The younger man's eyes staring at him, pleading. Donghae drunk up his water, "I can... But you better be careful with how you're storing those lyrics." Then he pointed his thumb at one of their band mate, "Especially watch out for Lip-teuk hyung."

Kyuhyun had been careful. Even then, she had picked up a piece when he was taking a bath. He didn't expect her to come home early, he had left the music sheets and his notebook on the table thinking he'd have until the evening for himself, and had gotten a shock to find the music sheet in her hands. He panicked, wondering if she had as much as glimpsed at his notebook, which was opened next to his guitar. He didn't think so, because when Sungmin saw him she was beaming her usual smile and greeting him her usual 'hi'. And instead, she was commenting how different it had sounded, the piece she was reading, to his previous songs. She said it had seemed more... personal. Poetic. And a lot more vague...

"Since when you've gotten so emo?" She snatched the paper off her hands. "I don't like people going over my stuff." Her smile faded, "I just... What's wrong, Kyu? You always showed me song drafts before." He just gathered his papers, notebook and guitar and went into his room without saying anything. She was left standing in confusion. What has gotten into her best friend?

He had spend more time in his bedroom, practicing and writing and rewriting his songs. Before all of this happened, he used to practice on the sofa in front of the TV, and his brilliant voice would just fill the whole room. Sungmin had missed it terribly. She had missed her best friend. When he wasn't in his room, or attending his classes, he would be in the studio. She had barely see him that week. He always got up early and came home after she had gone to sleep. She thought it was because the competition was drawing really close, but on the usual occasions where she would come by after her class to the studio to bring him and the members some food and snacks (because she also knew the guys well and it was her way of supporting the band), everyone was so excited and thankful. But Kyuhyun's share had always ended up untouched.

"Let him be, he's really stressed out about the competition. We're all nervous, but you know Kyuhyun, if we don't tell him to go home and rest he'd practice until he passes out." Donghae had smiled and reassured her.

Then the day of the competition arrived. Sungmin had no class that day so she stayed with the band. The others were out watching the other bands perform from the backstage, except for Kyuhyun. She had found him in the deserted waiting room, all by himself.

"Are you sure you don't wanna see?"

He had jumped when he heard her. "God you and your ninja skill. Don't creep up on me like that. No, I'm fine. You go and watch."

She saw that he had the music sheets laid out before him and was studying it one last time. A bottle of water stood nearby, from which he religiously took a sip from every minute, just how he always did when he was preparing himself for a performance. She drew a chair next to him. "Are you nervous?"

"A bit."

Kyuhyun had tried to concentrate on the music sheets, but he was suddenly aware that they were alone. He was torn of not wanting to be alone with her, and wanting more than anything exactly that.

"You'll do great, as always." She had touched his arm, a reassuring gesture, but the effect was the opposite. Kyuhyun tensed, his heart rate raising.

"What if... I lose." He stared at her hand, feeling every millimeter of her touch on his skin. He wanted to reach out and hold it, _so much_, that his knuckles began to turn white from gripping the water bottle a little too tight.

Losing meant not just the competition. But to himself. He had wanted more than anything to tell her then and there that he loved her. The hell with their friendship. The hell with Yesung. Even the hell with the competition.

"Aish, Kyu. Thinking such negative thoughts wouldn't help a thing. Where's the spirit? Don't make me denounce your Rocker Kyu title and change it into Coward Kyu. Kyuward? Eh, that's too... weird."

Kyuhyun turned to face her, unsmiling. Sungmin had just noticed his outfit. The one he wore for the stage. Black leather pants, black boots, a black long sleeved shirt with rips from through he could see the grey tank top he layered underneath. The sleeves were rolled to below his elbow. His wrists and fingers were embellished with pointy, studded, metal cuffs and rings.

Kyuhyun always had another side of him. The side that she knew so well in her daily life, the avid gamer, sometimes annoying, slightly dorky, with quick wit that was always ready to make her laugh. And the on-stage Kyu, the dark, charming, mysterious persona with a captivating voice.

"Funny you should say that. Maybe I do deserve that new nickname."

"Hey, save the sexy pained brooding look for the stage. It's time for you to unleash the Rocker Kyu into the screaming fangirls outside." Sungmin gave him a wide smile, tapping his shoulder. Kyuhyun just looked at her, unamused.

"But... Wait. Rocker Kyu is missing something." Sungmin was staring up his eyes that made him moved back and tensed in his seat. "Hold on..."

"What are you doing?"

"Don't move." She grabbed a kohl.

Kyuhyun had forgotten this one last finishing touch. She moved her chair closer and cupped his chin. Kyuhyun, for some reason, was squirming in his chair. "Kyu, stay still, or I'm gonna poke an eyeball." He swallowed then closed his eyes and she slowly lined around his eyes.

She had forgotten that Kyuhyun had beautiful long lashes. They weren't really noticeable from a distance, but up close, you could really see them. He also had a really nice profile, which she didn't think he was really aware of. A nose that curved perfectly into his upper lip and down his lower lip.

_His lips._ She still remembered how they had tasted like, the feeling when they brushed over hers, as vividly as if it had just happened a second ago. It was nothing like she had ever experienced, and it had redefined her perspective. It wasn't just a kiss, it was everything of that moment.

She had wondered, shortly after, about what he had said. About kissing the right person. He was right, after all. She wasn't in love with Yesung, probably hadn't for a long while. It was just that she had just grown accustomed to his presence, like a routine. But when Kyuhyun had kissed her... It was like something just... _clicked_. Like she had found something she never thought she had lost before. She finally got what he meant.

Kyuhyun was that person. The one that made her heart leapt and banged itself against her chest, _that's him_. She broke up with Yesung the following week.

"You know, I haven't told you. I've broken up with Yesung."

He suddenly grabbed her hand and his eyes flew open. "What?"

"I broke up with Yesung. You've been so busy so I haven't got a chance to..."

"But why?"

"Because you were right, I wasn't in love with Yesung, I'm**–**"

The rest of her words were muffled by his lips. This time was different from the their first kiss. It was urgent, desperate, a battle and a downpour of passion and yearning that had been bottled up for so long. His heart had felt like it was exploding. Right then and there. All what he had been containing and pushing under for the past weeks came in floods.

Sungmin suddenly pushed him away, "What the hell are you doing?"

Kyuhyun blinked in confusion.

"Just because you kissed me once, or you thought '_hey, she just broke up, she must be vulnerable_', you think you can play and mess around with me like this? For God's sake, I'm your own friend, Kyu. You're really going too far. It's not funny anymore." Sungmin got up and walked out.

"But I wasn't..." It was no use. The door already closed and he could only stare at it, dumbfounded.

_Shit._ He got up to run after her, but the door opened and his band members streamed inside. "Get prepared, Kyu, we're next." He asked them where Sungmin was and they told him she had gone out to watch them from the front view of the stage, among the audience outside. "I need to speak with her." He went for the door, wondering how he was supposed to look for her among hundreds of people, but Donghae grabbed him, "Kyu, seriously, not now, we have no time." "But hyung..." and Donghae already shoved him a guitar.

–––

Sungmin had been battling with herself. She hurried along the corridor, upset and confused.

Kyuhyun had never taken anything seriously. Like it had been easy for him to go around joking (he totally deserved that kick), then he just went ahead kissing her like it had been something as mundane as teaching golf. And then went on practicing with his band, like nothing ever happened.

_"Yesung gave it to you."_ He was saying when she woke up one morning with a bunny on her pillow. She had thought Kyuhyun had given it to her. _"I'm going to stay really late at the studio tonight, so if you want to invite him over and thank him for the bunny, you've got the apartment for yourself."_ He had winked at her and taken his keys. _"I'll be back around 3AM. Have fun!"_ Sungmin just stood there, staring at the door. It was obvious Kyuhyun didn't feel what she was feeling. Maybe for him, the kiss was just nothing, another number to add to the line of women he had impressed with his kissing skill.

Apparently feelings don't hit you one by one in a sortable list. It hit you like a bulk download, overflowing your desktop, making your computer hang, wriggled in a seizure and died with smoke coming out of the back. There was her feelings towards Kyuhyun, so new, yet so old like it was totally to be expected. Sungmin battled it hard, refusing to acknowledge her growing feelings, fully knowing that for Kyuhyun, who had grown practically nonexistent as the competition reared closer, music was his only focus in the whole world. And separately, yet closely connected, was her guilt towards Yesung.

She gave the bunny back to Yesung the next day. _"I'm sorry," _was all that she could say.

That was why, she didn't look back when the MC announced the next band to perform on stage, and didn't stop when she heard that familiar voice, and the crowd cheering, and the door under the EXIT sign closed shut behind her.

–––

Kyuhyun fidgeted on Donghae's side, the MC was giving a brief introduction. He scanned the pool of people before him, wondering where she was. Was she there, or had she left? He had thought she was saying she had finally realized her feelings for him, but clearly judging from her reaction it couldn't be further than the truth. He should have let her finish her sentence first. _Idiot_, he cursed himself. And how come she mistook him for fooling around? _Idiot, idiot, idiot._ The MC suddenly shoved him the mic and for a second he just stared at it like he had been given a purple banana. Donghae nudged him and he stumbled to his position, finally remember what he was there for. Now he just prayed he could focus long enough to remember the lyrics.

Kyuhyun dragged himself home later that night. The band had entered the final. They all went out for a drink, but Kyuhyun, who usually wouldn't miss such occasion, had preferred to go straight home. He tried to look for her after their performance but she wasn't in the waiting room. "She didn't text you?" Donghae had said when he asked after the result, "I texted her if she wanted to come with us, but she said she was tired so she would pass. Why?" The older man looked up in worry, "Did something happen with you two? Hey where are you going?" But Kyuhyun already dashed out of the door.

The lights were still on in the kitchen. He could still hear her, washing the dishes. He crossed the living room and stood awkwardly near the kitchen table, not really knowing what to say, where to begin.

"Congratulations." She said, without looking at him.

"I'm sorry." He said finally, "About earlier. That wasn't what I meant, at all."

He could hear the clacking of the dishes stopping. Her hands had stopped moving but she still wouldn't face him. The water on the sink still running. "I don't want to talk about it."

The tension in the room. The running water. It drove him crazy. He crossed the kitchen and turned the tap off. "Look," he stared at her, "I wasn't fooling around. If you had known, if you had felt even an ounce..." He sighed, "I don't know how you feel about me, but I'm pretty sure of how I feel about you."

He got into his room and retrieved his notebook from his drawer, laying it out on the kitchen counter. His hand slowly opened one page, two pages, until he stopped on a spread. "I wrote these during the past weeks. They have never been shown to the band, or anyone. These are... about you."

Sungmin eyed him cautiously. Kyuhyun pushed the notebook slightly towards her, "Go on." He watched her as she picked it up and carefully read through the page. Then she looked up and Kyuhyun nodded, urging her to open another page. And another page after that. "I guess it turns out I can also write love songs if I set myself to."

"Kyu, these are..."

"Sappy?" He managed a short, nervous laugh. She didn't reply, her hand continued to leaf through the notebook, still reading it line by line. "I guess they might be a little sappy. Or depressive, I don't know. But they're honest." He was beginning to worry. This is it. Any second now she would just laugh at it and say how crazy he was. Or she could denounce their friendship.

"I love you." He couldn't stop himself.

She looked up at him, and he was surprised to see her eyes glazed in a thin coat of water. His heart sunk. "You're going to tell me to move out, aren't you?"

She put the notebook down on the table. "Close your eyes." She said in a quiet voice, that sounded like it was almost breaking.

And then she kissed him. It hadn't felt like trucks crashing, nor a washing machine. It just had felt... _right_. And she didn't have any doubts anymore.

"What does it feel like, now?" He breathed. "Going through a carwash? Rainbows? Awesomeness?"

Sungmin laughed, "Like..." _Falling in love_. She kissed him again. Kyuhyun was smiling over her lips.

"Oh by the way," she stopped to say, "I think I finally broke it."

"Broke what?"

"The remote."

-FIN-


End file.
